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SPAGHETTI AND MEATBWAFFLES & THE HIPSTER INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

Don Quixote chased dragons and found windmills; I chase cronuts and find meatbwaffles. The Cronut phenomenon has little to do with the food itself; it has a lot to do with the line 300 hipsters deep outside Dominque Ansel’s Bakery in the biting SoHo cold, waiting for their opportunity to Instagram a unique lived experience …

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MAC ‘N CHEESE CHIMICHANGAS, BEERGRIA, & THE SHITTIEST OF SHIT SHOWS

When someone hands you a plastic grocery bag, you never expect it to be filled with their own vomit. It’s hard to tell when the night really started to spiral out of control. There was no singular moment that tipped the balance from “cheeky underage shenanigans” to “blood-stained mayhem”, but by some sort of shitfaced …

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BRAISED LAMB MEXICAN PIZZA & OCCUPYING THE FUSION MOVEMENT

My favorite part about Obama’s presidency was when he single-handedly ended domestic racism I don’t remember the exact moment racism ended, but it was sometime after Obama’s inauguration, and before Macklemore came out with “Same Love”, which, as we all know, permanently ended homophobia. But before we take a moment to pat ourselves on the …

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THE MCCONSENSUAL-GROUP-SEX-BURGER & HOW AMERICA CAME TO BE SO FAT

Editors Note: This abomination of a sandwich was inspired by McDonalds’ secret menu item “The McGangbang.” It was recently brought to my attention that, for some people, the term “gang-bang” implies nonconsensual sex acts. This should not be the case. Gang-bangs, like many other paraphilic BDSM practices, are based on trust and consent from all …

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RAMEN POUTINE & BRIDGING CULTURAL GAPS THROUGH FUSION FOOD

No two cultures in the world share more similarities than the Japanese and the French-Canadians. Both cultures have been relatively isolationist throughout their histories and both adopted a flower as their national symbol — the cherry blossom and fleur-de-lys respectively. Both played a prominent role in World War II, except for the French-Canadians, they pretty …

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FUNNEL CAKE BURGER & ON THE CONCEPT OF #FOODP*RN

I’m convinced most people who use the term foodporn have never actually seen pornography. The term itself is most often attributed to feminist critic Rosalind Coward in her 1984 book “Female Desire”. “That we should aspire to produce perfectly finished and presented food is a symbol of a willing and enjoyable participation in servicing others. …

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RAMEN DONUTS (RAMNUTS) & I’M INCREDIBLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS SHIT

My provisional copyright on the name “ramnut” is officially on sale. Looking for $50 and an Olive Garden gift card. Get at me, Dominique Ansel. The other day I was explaining to someone the nuance behind making a proper Red Bull Vinaigrette and they interrupted me with a stupid question. “Wait, wait, wait. Does it …

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